I guess my idea of a review means expressing the thoughts I have had about a film, and not necessarily a rating, on a scale or anything of that sort. This movie did in fact make me think. I've had an interesting year (in the last 12 months sense of the word) actually half year. There's been a theme that has actually been touched in the movie, Gray Matters also. The film was produced in the mid- 2000's and features Heather Graham as the lead character. The tag line of the film is something along the lines of "Follow the comedic tale of a brother and sister who fall in love with the same girl".
To pre-emp any other thoughts that may currently be running around your head, I probably should give you an idea of who/what I am. I am a little "l" liberal, enjoy politics but support people instead of everything that a particular party stands for. I prefer being a person of balance and truly give consideration to all sides of any story or set of beliefs. During my teenaged years, my closest friends were the "bandies", who in my case was primarily also the fairly right wing religious cats. They are super duper nice people, but I can't say I ever fully got behind the extreme views that they held about certain things. They never really sat perfectly well with me, even though they were very special friends to me then, and remain so today.
I am a very passionate, positive, creative, communicator/ dreamer types. Always full of lots of ideas, thoughts, imaginings, dreams... I am overly analytical as well, and put a lot of value on connecting and really understanding people, how they are feeling, what they believe, what they hope for and what they are hiding. I pride myself on being extremely observant and also very sensitive to people around me.
Contrary to how it is probably coming across to you right now, I don't actually like talking about myself, sharing what I really think (so as not to offend or upset anyone else) and telling people my stand on things. It's not that I am ashamed or hiding something, it's just that I don't actually get asked by many people, and I don't often find the place/time to share those things without sounding like I am trying to push my own beliefs on others. If asked, I will share, it's just opportunities to be asked don't come along. I would say I keep myself guarded a fair bit, but am always dying to open, to be transparent and to be known, intimately, by others.
Back to Gray Matters, I felt that I could identify a fair amount with the main character. Gray, was a 20-30 something, put extreme value on her relationship with family(in her case, her brother, in mine- my biological family, and those friends of mine that are platonic and as tight as family). This focus on being close to friends and family, was in contrast to her lack of any dating/romantic relationships. She was driven and pleased with her life despite the lack of a romantic link, excited by her career and the things she was accomplishing in those realms.
In my life, other than a boyfriend during high school for 2 years, I haven't dated anyone. Not that I haven't had crushes on MANY, it's just that I am a horrid flirter and nothing became of the attraction. I explained it away as being not mutual, however, I really don't know why I had no luck; maybe I came across as being content the way things were, too confident in who I was, too busy, too college/career oriented, maybe I didn't seem needy enough? Not sure! In any case, I haven't been in a relationship since 1997.
On the movie, after Gray and her brother are challenged to find themselves romantic interests by their friends at a dinner party, they go to the dog park and Gray helps her brother meet a pretty girl they see. They invite the girl out to an un-threatening dinner for three and in a short time the brother decides to marry the girl, Charlie in Vegas with Gray going along as a witness for them. While Gray and Charlie are trying to celebrate her last night of single bliss, they sing with Donna Summers, get smashed and end up drunkenly kissing each other back in the hotel room before falling asleep.
For Gray, it totally freaks her out in a completely over-reactive scene of her pacing for 6 hours asking herself "what just happened". She clearly understood that there was something favourable about the experience despite it's brevity, and spends most of the rest of the movie trying to figure out what it actually meant to her. The movie is meant to be a comedy, so some of the situations are done rather "cheesily", for lack of a better word, but the intent of the piece is what I find most intriguing!
Earlier this year I had a supper with someone close to me, who decided they really wanted to come out of the closet to me. They had done it with their mother this past summer and it was something really important to her to express it herself to me during that meal, instead of me hearing through the grapevine as she came out to others. I can't say it was a surprise, I think everyone knew for quite a while, maybe it was the girl "roommates" she often brought to functions. It was something that was fairly common knowledge, despite never being overtly expressed. I appreciated the effort and difficulty that she seemed to have with coming out to me, and made sure that she felt my support and my never-changing care about her. I could tell it was like lifting a weight off of her shoulders and I was happy to be there for her and with her at that extremely important time of acknowledging who she was.
During our conversation I couldn't help but think about my VERY "out" friend from high school. I can't say back in HS I ever really thought about who was a lesbian and who was not. There were a few guys that were openly gay, but none of the girls I really knew well were. I have kept in touch with her a little since HS, and had a very fun time dancing to James Brown songs at the pub with her and her then girlfriend at our 10 year reunion. I know that she also had an interesting journey of coming out to her family and friends and just recently exposed that side of her life to her teenaged brother in the last year, despite being one of the most "out" girls I know.
In the movie, Gray seems to SUDDENLY realize her attraction to women, after just one kiss... No idea before that one moment, no idea about it when they share some otherwise intimate, yet not sexual, situations. It feels a little weird and yet a little bit familiar to me. Is it wrong? Is it a poorly written movie... well, maybe, but still I think that people probably have very different experiences regarding relationships and romantic love. I wonder if there was some compulsion from the writers to suggest that because Gray didn't date guys for so long or find a guy to date that she must be a lesbian. Is that the way that the world thinks? Does that mean because I haven't dated a guy since 1997 that I must be a lesbian too? I don't know. Maybe, just maybe, there is something to the correlation? It's not that I don't meet or know guys I find attractive. I would drop everything if George Stromboulopolous suddenly called me up with a wedding proposal. But at this time, I might do the same for that mysterious and breathtaking mid-30 year old lady that asked where the washroom was behind me in the Sobey's express line this afternoon.
I'm not big on labels, and don't really completely understand gay culture, but I know that I like people, no matter what they are for race, gender, size, hair colour. Those things don't matter to me, whereas the personality, integrity, and character do. Should I put a name on myself so I can identify better with others or can I simply know what I am about and be willing to share that if anyone takes an interest and asks?
My thoughts are also with the nation of Haiti. I hope that those who are injured get helped soon, and those who have lost everything get the aid they need to survive, grow, love, share and find happiness again.
Labels: family, friends, love, movies
