Funerals...

Funeral- a ceremony honoring a dead person.

But you know what I think it is more a time when everyone else contemplates their own existence. We think and consider the passed and our memories of them, but as a result it makes us, no FORCES us to also contemplate our lives and the indeterminate time we have left.

Why so morbid you ask? Well, I went to my first non-Inuit funeral today in Yarmouth. The father of one of my friends, as well as a meaningful photographic mentor of mine, Sandy Bain. This guy was top notch. He was an extremely talented artist, photographer and I knew him through his ownership of the local Camera Store down at the end of my street as I first began taking pictures and bought my first SLR camera in grade 10 or 11. He was patient, creative and very kind. I loved checking out his shots around Yarmouth, and enjoyed talking to him about my shots, how to improve them, and different tricks of the trade. He passed away this weekend and his memorial service was today.

It was honestly one of the most beautiful services I had ever experienced. It captured his nature- easy going, warm and friendly. The family insisted on it being an informal dress, with a very touching tribute and song by Bruce Rainnie, who now works for CBC as a Sportscaster, but used to be a local radio broadcaster. He shared some humourous stories of commitment and quality time spent together, of inside jokes, of pranks and of eternal memories that bonded them so long ago. It took everything within in me to hold back the rush of tears. So beautiful was this deep connection that he clearly felt to Sandy, something that as was explained, built from time spent talking daily on the phone, evenings spent playing music and talking, sharing thoughts, points of views, dreams and hopes.

There were nods and smiles all over the crowd. From others who had felt a similar bond, who had experienced a same depth of friendship with him. And it made me start thinking.

What would people say about me? Could anyone comment in the same way about spending lots of time with me? Will there be nods and smiles of acknowledgment around the room or will I be only known as the transient off and on former resident- so and so's sister or so and so's daughter? If I never find a 'love interest' in my life, will anyone ever feel the deepest, strongest and closest connection to me that most people in this world have? Who will I leave a legacy to? Will many people say that I had impressed something real, and significant on them that changed the way they think about the world?

What will I leave behind? And now, what about you?

Learning... and churning... and yearning...

Big month so far! August came in like a lion, and at this rate I guess I wouldn't mind if it went out like a lamb with my luggage and flights going very smoothly.

I've enjoyed relaxing and spending time with friends and family much longer than I normally would. Right now I would have likely been flying back to the North, boxes packed, shopping complete, lesson plans spinning around my head, excitement to get started with my new students whirling around in the pit of my stomach... But nope, instead I am revelling in the knowledge that I have another two weeks of summer and sun and relaxation and... house repair planning?

Yeah, did I mention I bought a house? WTF! I KNOW, I really am kind of surprised that I did it. I mean, I have been thinking and talking to Dad about investing in something a little bit bigger than what I have been doing so far. But it does seem a bit like a blurr now that there is a property in Yarmouth that I own...



It's kind of freaking me out because it is such a serious move. It's going to affect the way I think about my finances, my social life, etc. Although most people are asking if it means I am staying in NS, no it doesn't. This will always be considered home, but I am not yet ready to live and work here. I have too many things that I still want to do up North. I really want to see certain kids make it through, graduate and become well established members of the community. I owe it to them, I owe it equally to myself. Melissa, for example, I need to see her make a run at graduation. I need to see her not get mixed up with the usual trash. And Wayne. I don't want him to be shot down, so close to the end.

It also makes it easier to know that there is no one here that is making me tossed up on that either. I love the family, but know we will be close near or far. So far this summer in the "love interest" department there's not been any series contenders appearing. Lots of flirts but nothing that seems like it will be anything more than that. Problem with flirts is I realize that I have a very, uncontainable imagination. I can imagine a very long and happy future with flirts FAR FAR FAR too easily. It makes my heart flutter in that realm of possibility and sadly, flirts are often already in long term relationships, which you only find out after you have some well laid plans of how you will get together...

Likely the problem is also that I am a chicken to do much straight-forward flirting back when the flirting is initially happening... Then I regret the lack of laying it on the line at the time and plan how it might happen to redeem myself. Maybe the timidity has saved me face? Depends on how you look at that one...

Let's see what the rest of August holds... Hope you enjoy the rambling! Time to get myself going...

Summer's NOT over!!

So, if this had been any other year I would likely be taping up my final boxes, doing final family and friend dinners, packing bags that are already over- sized, and thinking through the planning things I have to get ready for my class... BUT NO. That is not my plight this year and it is SO refreshing! Instead, I am enjoying the sun, books, nephews (and family), house hunting, lounging in the mini pool, travel planning, music, my new sparkle pink bass, ummm, and just relaxing!

I have been taking as much time as I can over the last couple weeks to read my book(which sadly has not been much time with house hunting, cleaning up/cooking for the 'rents and general entertainment). This book is awesome, "Dreams from my Father" by Barack Obama. Needless to say it was published before he was in the Presidential race, so it was somewhat before he was famous, but boy does he ever have a way with words. I feel like I know him from this book- he is SO candid, open and shares his thoughts and experiences of his childhood, teenaged insecurities and young adult decisions and pathways. PLEASE check it out!

So, I have less than a month before my California/Hawaii/Calgary trip takes place and I am getting super excited! Lots to do before then and I hope I can figure out a way to pack super light... which I think will be a challenge since I am a "sweater" and go through a lot of shirts in the course of a week. West coast launderomat visit, hmmm, don't know if I scheduled for that!!

I am also including some pictures from my first few weeks home. My family, Seafest activities, concerts and of course a few fireworks too!