Big birthday tomorrow.

So, I'm not a big braggart of birthdays. To be honest I prefer when they really go un-acknowledged, except for by my mom, since she always remembers, I guess it was a significant experience- popping out your first born. (but since it seems that no one is checking this out, I can put it here without recourse.)

Tomorrow is the big 30. It would be a fun day for sure except for the nagging feeling I have that is making my heart heavy. It's been close to three days that my good friend has talked to me. It hurts SO badly that I can barely look anyone in the face without the feeling that tears welling up. My people mean so much to me, and it is hurting SO much that it doesn't seem to be mutual.