Open and Honest: trying it out... actually just need to vent a little...
Hmmm, okay, so my mind is in a bit of a spin and I decided that although this might be a bit of a dangerous place to write such things as I do not know who reads them, I will take a chance... (especially since most of my readers have likely given up on reading it with my such patchy commitment to writing)
Yesterday we learned the news about the selection of the Vice and Principal at our school. I must begin by saying I am very relieved and happy about the selection, they couple that was chosen are incredible people, and close friends of mine. Actually I even gave their name in my interview as being the best candidate, even above myself, odd choice in an interview I know, however there were reasons for me to firmly believe in it. I am not at all bitter about the selection. I feel that our school is in very good hands to continue on the tradition of team work and excellence that we have come to be known for. That being said, however, the reason that was presented to me for not getting the position was the only thing that really quite bugs me. At first I really let the panel off the hook, they were very nervous, even told me how much they did not enjoy having to tell us we were not picked because they felt that all of us were worthy candidates! I knew that maybe they were stumbling on words, maybe they felt awkward and were saying things that were not really what they meant. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, and although my heart really wants to maintain that, my brain is still circling those words and won't let them drop as easily... Oh, the wonderful brain vs. heart battles again! UGH!
Going into the interview I knew that most of the panel had already made up their mind on who they wanted. I was comfortable with this, and was doing the interview more as an experience and as a chance to possibly convince them of one thing they might not have thought of regarding their top choice. I presented my strengths, I gave many tangible examples of things I was already doing as a volunteer that were parts of the job, I shared my heart for the students, staff, community and school. I felt good about them, I shared my reason for applying despite feeling that one of the other candidates were really an excellent choice as well- she was already involved in the decision making and leadership in her current position and because of her confidence and the trust people had for her, if she was to replace in the VP position it would reduce the administration to 3 people instead of 4 like we currently have, and that would mean a much more difficult time keeping up with all of the expectations on those people. We have had the 4 leadership school (ie. P, VP, Centre Director, and her, as student counsellor) for 6 years or more now, and the have become like a well oiled machine since they both took on specific roles but with one less body, I worry a bit about burn out, since she is also a close friend. But alas, my argument wasn't persuasive enough.
As I sat before the committee, they gave "we felt you didn't have enough office experience" as their first reason for not choosing me. Ouch. If anyone knows me, I am the epitome of an office girl, I love crunching numbers, planning, organizing, co-ordinating projects and volunteers... I have been involved in doing the school staffing organization, the student records and timetabling for the last 4 years just because I find it fun. (and don't worry my friends have teased me incessantly about that) there were many other MUCH more valid reasons that they could have offered me for their choice- the fact that they didn't feel I was fluent enough in French (or Inuktitut) is the one that sticks out the most in my mind. But "not enough office experience"... Hearing those words makes me think that they weren't actually paying attention to my interview answers... it wonder about if THEY (since they are all members of the parents committee, not school board officials)even really understood what the role and duties of a VP are.. ouch. I am trying to tell myself that I should focus on the fact that we have a kick ass new administration, made of two people who I care about, trust and love dearly, who will do an incredible job... but those words keep running around in my head... and makes me hurt in my heart...
Guess it is opening the wound of being misunderstood and how much that frustrates me. Don't get me wrong, I also really like each of the individuals on the education committee as well. They are sweet, kind friendly people. Genuinely nice, open, awesome people in fact! But those words... were so misplaced that they cut me deep. I am happy however and try to concentrate on the words they said after I made a joke about sending them all a postcard from Hawaii (where I will certainly go visit next year since I am doing my sabbatical as originally planned), their last words were, "We need people like you in the classroom with our kids..."
Yesterday we learned the news about the selection of the Vice and Principal at our school. I must begin by saying I am very relieved and happy about the selection, they couple that was chosen are incredible people, and close friends of mine. Actually I even gave their name in my interview as being the best candidate, even above myself, odd choice in an interview I know, however there were reasons for me to firmly believe in it. I am not at all bitter about the selection. I feel that our school is in very good hands to continue on the tradition of team work and excellence that we have come to be known for. That being said, however, the reason that was presented to me for not getting the position was the only thing that really quite bugs me. At first I really let the panel off the hook, they were very nervous, even told me how much they did not enjoy having to tell us we were not picked because they felt that all of us were worthy candidates! I knew that maybe they were stumbling on words, maybe they felt awkward and were saying things that were not really what they meant. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, and although my heart really wants to maintain that, my brain is still circling those words and won't let them drop as easily... Oh, the wonderful brain vs. heart battles again! UGH!
Going into the interview I knew that most of the panel had already made up their mind on who they wanted. I was comfortable with this, and was doing the interview more as an experience and as a chance to possibly convince them of one thing they might not have thought of regarding their top choice. I presented my strengths, I gave many tangible examples of things I was already doing as a volunteer that were parts of the job, I shared my heart for the students, staff, community and school. I felt good about them, I shared my reason for applying despite feeling that one of the other candidates were really an excellent choice as well- she was already involved in the decision making and leadership in her current position and because of her confidence and the trust people had for her, if she was to replace in the VP position it would reduce the administration to 3 people instead of 4 like we currently have, and that would mean a much more difficult time keeping up with all of the expectations on those people. We have had the 4 leadership school (ie. P, VP, Centre Director, and her, as student counsellor) for 6 years or more now, and the have become like a well oiled machine since they both took on specific roles but with one less body, I worry a bit about burn out, since she is also a close friend. But alas, my argument wasn't persuasive enough.
As I sat before the committee, they gave "we felt you didn't have enough office experience" as their first reason for not choosing me. Ouch. If anyone knows me, I am the epitome of an office girl, I love crunching numbers, planning, organizing, co-ordinating projects and volunteers... I have been involved in doing the school staffing organization, the student records and timetabling for the last 4 years just because I find it fun. (and don't worry my friends have teased me incessantly about that) there were many other MUCH more valid reasons that they could have offered me for their choice- the fact that they didn't feel I was fluent enough in French (or Inuktitut) is the one that sticks out the most in my mind. But "not enough office experience"... Hearing those words makes me think that they weren't actually paying attention to my interview answers... it wonder about if THEY (since they are all members of the parents committee, not school board officials)even really understood what the role and duties of a VP are.. ouch. I am trying to tell myself that I should focus on the fact that we have a kick ass new administration, made of two people who I care about, trust and love dearly, who will do an incredible job... but those words keep running around in my head... and makes me hurt in my heart...
Guess it is opening the wound of being misunderstood and how much that frustrates me. Don't get me wrong, I also really like each of the individuals on the education committee as well. They are sweet, kind friendly people. Genuinely nice, open, awesome people in fact! But those words... were so misplaced that they cut me deep. I am happy however and try to concentrate on the words they said after I made a joke about sending them all a postcard from Hawaii (where I will certainly go visit next year since I am doing my sabbatical as originally planned), their last words were, "We need people like you in the classroom with our kids..."
posted by Gillian at
10:36:00 AM
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